If There's a Choice, Choose Badassery: How to create an abundance mindset

It’s a lazy Sunday after a week spent with nature center colleagues from across the country, sharing stories, learning, and uplifting each other. I was honored to deliver the keynote address at this year’s ANCA Summit, where I spoke about the importance of storytelling: the stories we share with others about our organizations and missions, as well as the internal stories we tell ourselves that can hold us back.

A small part of my talk focused on shifting from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset. That piece resonated with many, as shown by the number of questions and requests for reading lists. Wonderful! I want every nonprofit professional and, really, everyone on earth to understand how this mindset/belief system can help you be less stressed and more impactful. It requires a slight rewiring of your brain, but it's worth it!

Over the past few years, I’ve spent a lot of time deconstructing the “why” behind my thoughts. Looking back on my childhood, I realized I was still telling myself old stories; narratives formed by a young mind that didn’t know all the facts and was just trying to protect itself. Those stories took the shape of hypervigilance and perfectionism. Even before I had language for it, I was battling these ideas while pushing myself and my teams forward. I have a feeling that many of you reading this essay may feel the same way. You want excellence, you can visualize the end result, but the internal fight with limiting thoughts is loud.

Despite the noise in my head, I always believed my team and I could do anything, fix anything, create anything. Most who know me would describe me as stubborn, and they’d be right. Internally, I’ve always felt like a boxer. The world was my ring, and as problems or opportunities came my way, I punched down at limiting thoughts with one fist and fought external barriers with the other. It worked. The people I’ve worked with and the things we’ve accomplished together are remarkable, but that double fight is exhausting. I've gone through life with a pugilist’s jaw set forward, telling myself that even if I didn’t feel worthy or smart enough, I was going to do it anyway. That stubborn streak helped me keep going when I doubted myself, and I’m grateful for it.

I’ve always had an abundance mindset. I’ve always believed anything I dreamed was possible. The difference is, for most of my life, I thought achieving it required a constant fight, because deep down I believed I wasn’t enough. Now, after a lot of internal work, I’ve entered a more peaceful phase. Instead of punching down feelings of unworthiness, imposter syndrome, and perfectionism, I remind myself that those stories aren’t true. I can rest in what I knew all along: everything is possible if we’re smart, creative, and open to receiving it.

Abundance vs. Scarcity Mindsets

Definitions

Abundance Mindset

An abundance mindset is the belief that there are enough resources, opportunities, and success to go around. People with this mindset focus on growth, collaboration, and possibility rather than fear of loss.

Example: A nonprofit leader sees another organization receive a big grant. Instead of feeling threatened, they celebrate the win and look for ways to partner, believing there will be new opportunities for their own organization as well.

Scarcity Mindset

A scarcity mindset is the belief that resources, opportunities, and success are limited, and that if others succeed, you will lose. This mindset often leads to competition, fear, and a tendency towards risk aversion.

Example: An executive hesitates to share fundraising strategies with peers, worrying that if others learn them, their own organization will receive fewer donations.

So, How Does It Work?

Do you have to be delusional? Is it toxic positivity? Woo-woo word salad? Perhaps it feels that way at first, because abundance thinking can initially seem foreign. You may worry you’ll lose your edge if you stop bracing for the bad. But here’s the truth: you won’t. Do it anyway.

As a person trained in science, I once scoffed at the word “magic.” But the more I read about quantum mechanics, the more I see how energy shapes outcomes, and the more I feel my body quiet as I watch sunlight glitter on a mountain stream, the more I think our ancestors were onto something. Maybe “magic” is just another way of describing the unseen forces shaping our lives.

To begin thinking abundantly requires a shift in perspective, and that shift may necessitate some introspection. You can't fully embrace an abundant mindset without understanding what limiting beliefs you currently have that have been feeding your scarcity mindset. There are several approaches to consider, including reading relevant materials and consulting with a mental health professional. I know it's more work and no one wants that, but the outcomes are worth it.

So yes, I might be a little woo-woo now, but it’s working for me. And it might work for you, too.

Gratitude

As I sit in my home office, surrounded by books and comfortable reading furniture, in a house that the bank and I own, with the windows open and a cool breeze blowing the curtains (It’s August in Tennessee. If you know, you know.), typing on a wireless keyboard and watching my words appear on a screen, I am profoundly grateful for everything from the weather to technology. I recognize the privilege I have in knowing that there is food in the pantry, that I’m surrounded by art, that I can hear the ground crickets playing their early fall songs in a neighborhood quiet enough that I CAN hear them. I know that there is sufficient money in the bank, that my health is good, and that I have friends and family who love me. An abundance mindset is founded on gratitude. While you can force abundant thinking by actively dismissing thoughts of scarcity, it’s exhausting and fragile. Believe me, I did it for years. 

However, doing the internal work necessary to sit in real, grounded gratitude for all that you have forms a strong foundation that doesn’t require constant shoring up or fighting to maintain it. I used to think that if I made a mistake, I would probably be fired and would be homeless within three months. I am a very logical person, and there is zero logic in those feelings. Those were the feelings of a frightened 12-year-old who witnessed the insecurities that arose from her parents' divorce and applied them to her own adult life. That was someone who wasn’t truly aware of all she had accomplished and the security she had built in her life. 

Some people think gratitude is just naming things for which they are grateful, but it's actually a deeper dive. It’s being present and aware of the reality of our lives. It’s truly recognizing our abilities, securities, accomplishments, beloved people, and realizing that the fear we feel isn’t justified. When you can do that, you can work from a place of sturdy safety, knowing that when the next problem comes along, you have the internal and external resources to handle it. 

Practicing gratitude is different for everyone. When I grudgingly first began, I journaled my gratitude by writing three things I was grateful for each day. The act of writing helps to engage and remember. Then I realized it was better for me to engage with gratitude on the fly. To be mindful of the gifts in my life as they occur and to really sit in the feeling of gratitude for at least a moment. That might be me sitting at my desk and naming the lovely things around me like I did in the above paragraph, or it might be allowing the feelings of wonder and gratitude to wash over me when an ebony jewelwing damselfly alights on a pickerel weed that’s bathed in morning sunlight, or maybe taking a quiet moment to enjoy the banter of my smart friends as we solve the world's problems while sitting around a picnic table at a brewery. 

Be prepared for the fact that beginning to feel gratitude taps into all your feelings, and there may be times when it is overwhelming, when you might feel choked up by something as simple as a thank you from someone or watching others find joy. I encourage you to feel it all. The more you do, the more you tell yourself that everything is really okay, and the quicker you quiet your self-limiting scarcity thoughts. 

Folks are just folks

We are all just humans, weird, goobery, imperfect, insecure, and brilliant in turn. We’re all trying to live our lives and goofing up more than we would like. We’re all just folks. As much as we want to find differences in each other or to make ourselves different so that we will stand out, in the end, we all have insecurities, talents, blind spots, extraordinary abilities, prejudices, and long-held beliefs in our lizard brains that aren’t real, but still inform our decisions. No one is worse than another…. except for the people who don’t return their shopping carts. I will always have beef with those numbskulls. 

The sooner we realize that most of us are just trying to do good and live well, the easier life will be. We all view the world through different filters, informed by our past experiences and current fears, and that is where most of the conflict originates. As such, it behooves us to communicate more, not less. To listen to each other’s stories and seek commonalities upon which to build trust and partnership. Believing in the inherent goodness of others and knowing that none of us is perfect is abundant thinking, because it is the opposite of limiting. 

Are there bad actors? Sure. Some people are too hurt or too hardened to care for others. However, we can’t spend our lives being angry at those folks if we want to think abundantly (I’m personally working on this concept; it’s a challenging one.). An abundant mindset will tell us that those people exist, but that, collectively, most of us can find common ground if we only work towards it. And that if we are enlightened enough to believe that, then we must be the ones to initiate the conversation. 

That’s the secret of abundance thinking: an abundant mindset doesn’t mean you work less. It actually means you will work more, because you see the need, know you have the resources, believe in the possibility, and therefore are obligated to help. However, even if that work is hard and messy, it will also be uplifting and inspiring.

Letting Go

Elsa wasn’t wrong. You gotta let that stuff go. All the limiting thoughts that aren’t real (Seriously, look up Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It’ll change your life.) have to be jettisoned and replaced with new beliefs that there is enough for everyone, that partnership is possible, and that you have the capacity to meet any challenge. In many ways, we have to return to the time in our childhood when we didn’t recognize any limits. 

A few years ago, the week after the end of our nature preschool year, I ran into Wiley, one of the preschoolers, and his grandparents on the greenway. Wiley told me that he was taking his grandparents, who were in town from Michigan, on a tour of many of the places at Ijams that were special to the preschoolers. I calculated that they would walk almost two miles on several different trails, spanning around 120 acres, to reach every spot. I asked the grandparents if they had ever been to Ijams. They had not. I waved goodbye as Wiley strode ahead with his grandparents following behind. 

Later, I saw them again at the Visitor Center. They had, indeed, traveled everywhere Wiley wanted to go and had returned right back to the beginning. They hadn’t gotten lost, and Wiley had been in charge the whole time. 

Wiley was four years old. 

How was Wiley able to confidently reconnoiter miles of trails and be totally in charge of himself and others? He was able to do it because he had gained experience over a year of hiking those trails and had been encouraged to take minor risks, such as hill and tree climbing, which gave him the courage to try hard things. However, the most important reason he could do it is that no one told him he couldn’t. Throw away your old, limiting beliefs and be like Wiley, full of a lifetime of knowledge, unlimited, and free in the belief that you can do whatever you put your mind to. 

If There’s a Choice, Choose Badassery.

This badass chipmunk has given me plenty of encouragement over the years.

Having an abundance mindset is the epitome of badassery. It is acting even when you are afraid and encouraging others to do the same. It’s believing that everything will turn out well, even if you don’t actually know how, because you know that the toolkit of knowledge, connections, friends, team members, and other resources you carry will be enough to get to the goal. It means you aren’t focusing on all the bad things that may happen along the way. Instead, you focus on the goal and know that as challenges arise, you’ll dispatch them handily. This can be particularly challenging for those of us who have always lived in a state of hypervigilance, constantly scanning for the next potential threat. That has been my MO and something I still fight every day. It’s worth the fight because eventually you tame that impulse and begin to rest more easily in your decisions. 

So, if abundant thinking is inherently badass, then why not always choose the most badass ideas or solutions? If you know that you and the others around you are capable and/or can rise to the challenge, that you have the resources, and that you believe in the goal, an abundance mindset will guide you to strive for the most audacious goals that require the most badassery. Remember when I said you’re going to work harder when you think abundantly? It’s true, but it’s also WAY MORE FUN and way more satisfying than playing it safe. 

Start with abundance questions like:

What if? Why not? What's the worst that can happen? What if everything worked out better than I imagined? Why not me? Why not us? What would I try if I knew I couldn't fail? What's the boldest vision of this idea? How can I expand this goal instead of shrinking it? Who else could I invite to share this success? How can we win together? How would I act if I believed there was more than enough to go around? What am I grateful for right now that I didn't have five years ago? What's going right that I can build on? What strengths have carried me through before that I can trust again now? What lesson or gift might be hidden in this setback? How is this problem actually an opportunity in disguise? What's the most creative solution I can imagine? How can this challenge help me grow stronger or wiser?

Playing it safe is never going to move the needle the way badassery will. An abundance mindset will supercharge every decision you make and will save you from the drudgery of a daily drip of low-energy scarcity thinking. It is also inspiring and creates an organizational energy that attracts people who want to achieve great things, encouraging everyone to strive for more and enjoy the work along the way. Everyone wants to be a badass, right? 

If we can get out of our own way by doing the internal work to eliminate our limiting beliefs, choose gratitude as a foundation for our lives, look for the good in people, and embody badassery every day, we will build organizations and communities full of energy and hope. When you choose abundance, you are also choosing a limitless future full of possibilities and all the goodness you can imagine. 

Reading List

Below are a few books and/or articles that I have found helpful. However, there aren’t many, because I’ve mostly picked up ideas over the course of my lifetime and can’t remember every place I found a tidbit. The resources below were standouts for me at different stages of my life, and I hope they will be helpful to you as well. 

“Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person” by Shonda Rhimes

This book was the beginning of a new stage in my life. Shonda Rhimes' (of Grey’s Anatomy and Bridgerton fame) story of being super successful and still saying no to so many joyful things resonated with me. She decided that for one year, she would say yes to everything offered to her. I decided to have my own Year of Yes, which is another form of abundant thinking, and it transformed my life. Within a few months of deciding to have a Year of Yes, I was offered my very first paid speaking gig in Japan and soon after, I got an out-of-the-blue call from a board member of Ijams Nature Center, saying that she had heard of me and that the Board wanted to talk to me about Ijams. There were many more amazing events in my Year of Yes, which was a great taste of the “magic” of abundant thinking. 

“Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way we Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” - Brene’ Brown

By now, most of us have heard of and probably read at least one of Brene’ Brown’s books. This one was transformational for me, as well as for thousands of others struggling with the belief that we had to be strong and that being vulnerable was a sign of weakness. Learning to be vulnerable made me a better leader and friend. 

“Alexander Hamilton” by Ron Chernow

The rags-to-riches and national influence story of one of our nation’s first fathers is amazing and worth your time. It’s about someone with unlimited beliefs who was also very human and made some dumb personal decisions. Qualities that make good role models. I don’t think advice from someone who has never made bad choices is as good as advice from someone who has. 

“Retrain Your Brain: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks: A Workbook for Managing Depression and Anxiety” - Seth J Gillihan, PhD

This book taught me that the internal stories I was telling myself were not true and how to rewire myself so that these thoughts didn’t rule me. You won’t be cured in seven weeks, but you will have nascent knowledge upon which you can build. 

“I can’t celebrate my achievements because, in my mind, it was my obligation to achieve them” - Vina amoris

https://viviynaa.medium.com/i-cant-celebrate-my-achievements-because-in-my-mind-it-was-my-obligation-to-achieve-them-5e571dad50ae

This article is short and a testament to the importance of not attaching your worth to your accomplishments. However, the subtext I also get is that gratitude is the solution to this problem, because when you do celebrate your achievements, you see the reality of what you have done and have more proof that you are enough because of who you are, not just what you do. 

“Be Ready When the Luck Happens: A Memoir” - Ina Garten

We all know the Barefoot Contessa, and her recent memoir hit at just the right time for me. Her message of authenticity, shaking imposter syndrome, and messy accomplishments resonated. She made many mistakes, but she kept going, and things turned out better because of them.